Private Parties: sometimes it goes...strangely

Being a performer is like being a contractor in any other profession. You sign a contract, you go to the site, you do your job. However, as any plumber, landscaper, computer programmer or other professions will tell you, jobs are like trail mix. How you ask? It’s generally bag of flakes, fruits, candy and mixed nuts-often heavy on the flakes and nuts.

With items like town fairs, corporate parties, and renaissance faires –they are concerned with liability, they want to cover their assets and they want it in writing. Explaining these things to your backyard party planner  in a way that doesn’t get strange quickly can be a task. We have had private parties that were lots of fun (just did one that was a repeat performance) weddings that were a blast, and kids birthday parties that made us smile a lot.

But I suspect you aren’t you aren’t reading along for the “Everything was butterflies and kittens and we received a great tip” stories.  (As an aside, never take a job that is run by a “committee” unless you have a hard contract)

Two parties where it all went kind of sideways.
The goth club Halloween party

It’s never a good sign when carnies have turned down a job and then it is offered to you. Another non-written rule that came from this this is that anyone who hires you with less than three weeks to Halloween is probably not someone for whom you’d like to work. But one half of us were on our way to the Mobile faire and the other half stayed behind to do a scenarios at midnight. The troupe was the second act on the docket, the first being an NC-17  uhm “scene” with a lot of props and not much clothing. Our folks are pretty easy going and tried to be polite in a small dressing area but it was definitely distracting. Also distracting? The club had low ceilings and no one knew how to shut off the strobe lights. But the show had to go on, so our folks-in makeup, prosthetics and dodging table, patrons and working in a strobe did their thing. They tried a storyline and the patrons didn’t seem to get it.
*A scripted disarm and when one patron tried to grab the sword while smirking
“Nice fighting D’Artanian” our member dragged the patron AND the sword across a table to continue the fight.
* No one seemed to sense how much danger they posed/could have received in a cramped space with swords and limited light
* at the end of it someone yelled “You Suck!”

But it did end, our folks went backstage and the DJ/guy in charge gushed about how great it was and asked if our folks wanted to stay and do more (with no additional pay) When told what a lone member of the crowd had critiqued he said.
“That’s great, you actually got a reaction out of them!”

The Bridal shower.

This party is why we have a “no surprise party” clause in party contracts. It started out innocently enough when the Mother of the bride wanted us to stage a sort of ‘hero saves princess’  scenario for the bride and groom-with the couple’s full permission. Fenix typed up a script, it had an equally opportunity scenario for the groom and all the sword fighting would be done within our group. In fact, we had some fairly funny adult humor built into the fights and our players did such a good job that those who couldn’t do the job were sorry about it. We were double-booked for the day  and our most easy-going, funny players were doing the coed bridal shower while the rest of us did a festival.  After all, expectations were set and it was a happy occasion!

We had a signed contract, the Mom holding the party had made sure our folks would be fed, could stay for the party and she loved the skits. It was all good.
(Cue unsettling music)
So our “bad guy” (who is a giant marshmallow and a sweetheart)  “stole” the bride to another part of the party and our “crazed substitute” bride  (for you movie fans think either ‘Whatever Happened to Baby Jane’ or ‘Black Swan’)  the guest have a rollicking good time until it’s time for the rescue. Sadly, at this point it’s clear that 1) the groom cannot tell reality from fantasy 2) the Mother of the bride has set this up to show her daughter that her beloved is a possessive jerk with ISSUES  3) we have danced into this public mess and are now part of the drama playing out publicly.

Our members had their hands full keeping the groom from grabbing a sword and doing what he wanted. And then, when the ‘bad guy’ was brought to justice by our players, the groom had to be manhandled off our member and reminded that we are just actors paid to be here and he needed to cool his cajones.  Only an application of a strong arm seemed to get through. Needless to say, no one seemed to find this part humorous.

And nobody wanted to stay for dessert (imagine)…..and we received a better tip, but NOT WORTH IT.

So can you learn from our mistakes? Absolutely, contracts, listening to your gut and having other options are great. However, if you were starting out like we were you really can’t afford to turn down too many jobs. We’ve had some great private parties (and those are a few blogs forward) that were very lucrative. But being in a unfamiliar situation where you are at the mercy of an employer’s circumstances can turn quickly so be sure that you have good team mates, that you have it in writing, and have an escape plan!

Performing as an introvert

I know that you really enjoy watching (insert “Being There” joke)  the acts at the faire but yes, you as a shy person or as an introvert (a person who needs alone time to recharge) or even a shy extrovert (A person who needs a social script but once that’s set there is no stopping you)  or and outgoing introvertmany of the people you see onstage are *just like you* the majority really are extroverts (that’s why they were drawn to this. )But like any slice of life, it’s not generally made up of just one type of person. With the success of books like “Quiet" it’s important to note that it’s not just the arm-flinging hams that have something to contribute to entertainment. And not just behind the scenes.

What an introvert does:
Because going into a situation is like a social obstacle course, most introverts are actually pretty good at reading people and they can especially do a low-key approach to personal interactions. Although a lot of folks are very good at being the center of attention, sometimes they can be overwhelming.  The introvert knows to bait the trap with an interesting hook, look or object that invites participation. This also lets the invited person set the pace of how much or little this scene will play out interactively. Although the extrovert gives permission to be  loud, the introvert knows how to target the more reticent audience member.

We listen to everything. And although the extrovert is funny, the introvert has been tweaking the joke for weeks and observing crowd reactions. The introvert saw the lady in row three wincing and the Bubba in row five cracking his knuckles. We are the ones who pull aside a main player and say.
“Dude, you need to stop doing ‘x’ it’s really getting to people.”
Sometimes that is the reaction you want, most times, even if it played well in Peoria, maybe not so much in Nantucket. (And that limerick is RIGHT OUT)

We make excellent “straight men” and “fall guys” because we don’t need the spotlight (usually)  We are happy to be the brunt of a joke or do non-speaking parts. We had an excellent introvert that told us
“Look I can never go on stage again, it was too much.” And we were all sad to hear it because he stole the show with gestures and mugging.  I think our hams were somewhat relieved. My super-secret power is being able to hit the dirt and sound like a sack of wet mice. And to “take a kick.” Sadly, we can’t do that any more because it’s too convincing. When you have to hold back a crowd after a stage fight, that fourth wall crashes in an unpleasant way. Now our fights have to be “less graphic.” Thanks pseudo-chivalry inspired by faires!

Often we are the more eloquent speakers-not because we are in any way better than an extrovert, but because we show our distain in a different way. Most extroverts are firecrackers-BOOM! Then it’s all over and they feel better. Sadly, a lot of damage can be done in very few seconds. Introverts (and well-trained extroverts) are accustomed to taking that extra few seconds to speak. Delaying the exact words “YOU ARE A DUMBASS”  and saying something a little less pointed can save jobs, lives and working. We  are the folks who are genuinely happy to have the show over. We don’t mind jobs like: watch my stuff, stay here and act as a point person, or be the unexpected quiet person that pops up unexpectedly at the sword rack when grabby hands think no one is around.  And generally we don’t have to tell everyone else what a rough day it was, because we assume everyone involved in it already knows.

So although we don’t get the loud accolades, knowing that it all went smoothly, that we had our moment onstage and people really enjoyed themselves, this is how we get our moments at the renfaire. And how we help the “hams” get theirs.

Howard and the worst case scenario

Guest blog by Fenix

There was a time about a dozen years ago where I thought we had killed an audience member.  The bad news is, he did die.  The good news, for us anyhow, was we didn’t kill him.

We had been hired to perform and entertain at the annual business meeting of an agricultural group.  Back in the early 2000’s we were very popular with that group and did a lot of shows for them.

We were doing sword fight demonstrations and there were about 20 or so people watching the show.

We had been specifically introduced to Howard.  He was their oldest member who was in his late 80’s and mostly blind.  He was very excited to have sword fighting done in their meeting hall and had his wheel chair pushed right up to the edge of our safety area.

My wife and I were doing our performance fight.  We’ve been doing it for years and can go fairly quick with it. (Still true now…)  There is one part where there is a series of high and low blows as we move around some.

The following all happened in a matter of a second or two.  But, it seemed much longer at the time.

As we went through it, I struck high and my wife blocked.  I struck low  and my wife blocked.  I struck high and my wife’s sword wasn’t there.  Her hand and the hilt were, but the blade was no longer attached to the hilt.

I had no problem stopping before hitting her, but looked to see where her blade was.

I saw it off to my right, slowly (to me) flipping end over end through the air, right towards Howard to the side of our area.

The rotating of the blade as it flew through the air worked out wonderfully.  The point dipped down in front of Howard and the body of the blade rotated over his head.

It did not touch him as it passed over and slammed into the wall behind him with a loud thud.

Time resumed its normal flow at that point.

All of the people in the room realized what had happened and EVERYONE rushed over to Howard.

“Howard, did it hit you?!?!?” people shouted.

“Did what hit me?!?!?” he shouted back.

“Are you OK?!?!?”

“What’s going on!?!?  I know something happened, but not what!”

The situation was explained to him and he calmed down.

We resumed our show, maybe going a bit less fast.

To our surprise they hired us again the next year.

When we showed up the woman who organized the event came up to me.

“You have insurance, right?” she asked.

“Yes.  I can show you the information if you need.”

“Because last year one of your swords broke.”

“I remember it quite well.”

“And, you almost hit Howard.”

“Yes, I know.”

“And, he died.”

Welcome back to the world of slow motion.

My first thought was “What will I tell the insurance company?”

Then, I replayed the events of the year before.  I could still see the blade spinning through the air towards Howard in my mind.  I could still remember him sitting there at ease because  he didn’t know it was coming.

I knew it didn’t hit him.  I knew he had been OK after it passed over him.  I knew he had sat there for the rest of the show and asked questions afterwards.  I knew we had let him hold a sword and see how it felt because he couldn’t see them.

I knew he had been OK.

“Howard died?” I asked as time once more resumed its normal flow.

“Oh yes, two weeks ago.  He was so looking forward to being at another one of your shows too.”

“That’s so sad,” I said to her.  Inside I was saying “IT WASN’T US THAT KILLED HIM!  YAYYYYYYYY!”

After the show the organizer came up to my wife and told her what a sensitive man I was.

“When I told him of Howard’s death, I could see it really moved him.”

“Oh yes, it did,” my wife honestly replied.

After 308 shows in 13 years, that is the closest we’ve come to hurting an audience member.  May that always be true!

Going on, being kind, getting through it.

The first faire where Phoenix Swords performed under its own name was very difficult for us.  It’s difficult for any group but having active detractors is especially difficult when someone is starting out.  Renfaires should not be a repeat of middle-school politics, but sometimes they are and it’s hard not to get caught up in these things.

But if you are having one of those days here are some things that will help you through

You are worthy. You could tell the worst jokes, be the most clumsy juggler or a mediocre singer. If you bring a smile to someone’s face and work at it-you are a performer. You aren’t perfect (none of us are) but if anyone discourages you on the basis of personal dislike, being  a douchecanoe or they are having a bad day-forget them. Few things are more ironic than being good enough to perform for someone else but when you turn them down then suddenly you are terrible? That’s not about you.

Kindness comes in unexpected places. When I was essentially hunted down and accused of doing something completely false, it fortunately happened near a booth of kind people. I’ll never know if the vendor knew I was being stalked or simply saw the look on my face but he called me over and talked to me about some scarves. I didn’t have a lot of money, but the gentleman who talked about the scarf in question made such a great case for its suitability that I bought it. To this day I keep it in/tied to  my costume bag. His son has gone on to be a well-known performer (he was starting and struggling too!) and this kind man has since passed.  Sometimes you are the person who needs a kind word and sometimes you need to be the person with a kind word. I make it a point to *always* give feedback to people and tell them how much I enjoyed their act/item/personhood.  It’s easy to be mean, far better to be kind.

Time can be your friend rather than your enemy. That was a rotten day for me, but like any day, it only lasts 24 hours and then it is a new day. And if you spend your time being busy, it keeps you out of trouble.   And avoidance is a wholly effective tactic as well. If you can time your appearances so that you are not alone or only working, it makes it hard for those who would confront you to not look like the bullies and lowlifes they are. Time also shows who people are, it may take a while.

Remember how it might look to others. Sadly, one of your jobs as a performer is to paste on a  smile despite any circumstance.  If I hear a vendor grousing publicly, chances are they have lost my sale. And if a performer is complaining about working, I have to wonder why they are there. (Exceptions are if they are *really amusing* about complaining) And sometimes you can’t fake it well, then it’s okay to hide, or acknowledge it or lose yourself in someone else’s stories but passing on that bad mood-not really an option. That part you have to suck up, even if you limp while you do it.

To finish,  everyone has bad days. I’ve had some bad days that still are as fresh as yesterday and I shake my head about how we ever made our way through it. But time marches on and today’s “how could I fall for that” will be tomorrow’s recognition of a bad situation and how to move past it.

Just because you have a sword

When I received my first sword as a gift, I loved it but I am cursed with a singularly practical nature-I needed to be able to use it. I never regarded it as a toy although if someone wants to call it that for fun, I’m not going to judge them. I feel the way about swords that I was raised to feel about guns-don’t take/leave it out if you aren’t planning to use it, never point it at someone,  and don’t start anything because then you can’t take it back.

I did a chart of getting involved with swords (Here it is!) and I’m still tweaking it.

But here are my pet peeves.

Fantasy-Hey are you a pirate, samurai, chevalier  or barbarian? Awesome! I am so glad you decided to complete your outfit with a sword. It looks great in the sheath and thank you for sliding it carefully out so we can all admire it. Please be aware of where it is when you are *not* showing it to me. For instance if your rapier is sticking out of your belt and pointed straight back, say, toddler eye-poking height or beer-spilling height, or just plain annoying your fellow patrons at the crowded faire height. Or over your shoulder to complete a perfect Plank Gag with an edge! And let’s not forget, you aren’t actually a pirate, samurai, chevalier  or barbarian and bringing me into it without my compliance will not make me, my troupe, other patrons and your intended romantic audience very happy with you at all. Play along, sure, but if you whip out that weapon or waste my time being rude and belligerent I will do a fantasy re-creation for you-Make like a tree and leaf, then report you.

No, I will not duel you, we will not duel you, they will not duel you. I’m a big fat, sucking coward, yep. If you do this in the parking lot and surprise me while I am getting something from the car  I will not use my performance swords. You will get to meet my actual personality,  my friend Mr. Denty  and I will report you.

I am the Law (no you aren’t)  Folks think it’s a great story to intimidate people at a faire with swords, I have some very mixed feelings on it. If someone is in immediate need I fully see the reason for being menacing (And a friend has a story that makes me gasp every time I hear it) But that can open you up to so much liability and even the sword masters in European manuals have a section titled “Don’t fight the crazy guy.”  We were asked to “chase off some people harassing the festival” and my partner said 
“No, that is not our job.” 
Turns out, it was a group of patrons who came to the faire, demanded their money back,  warned off others and protested the faire-on public sidewalks. When the police arrived, these rebels were well within their rights (And it WAS a crappy faire)  We don’t get to just take swords to people we don’t agree with or like.  And who know what this could have led to such as…

An incident that happened in front of us where someone took a sword to an annoying teenage kid on an ATV. That was pretty bad but the rationalizations, the excuses and defense of it has never ceased to stun and horrify us. ‘Not your job’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. And if  I have to explain why this is bad I want you to go to a psychologist immediately, get yourself tested for sociopathy and do some serious self work. I have no idea what it is about refaires that engenders something like Jerusalem Syndrome  but check yourself, people.

Finally, I don’t want to read about you on the news. Turns out we did know that guy who pulled out a sword and was waving it around a politician’s fundraising office. Why? Because people who love swords and other offbeat things tend to wander in and out of one another’s social circles.  Life is hard enough for those who perform at renfaires without the yahoos whipping around a blade. (As one sword scholar likes to point out, “We are yahoos with swords and books!”) But if you are out there with your internet “Claymore, ” Please, please be smart about it. It’s an art, please treat it with reverence and respect, the blade, you and the people around you.

Renaissance faires are NOT reenactment events. (So stop moaning about it)

You wanted my opinion on reenactment, here it is.
Sometimes when I read Facebook (mistake #1, I know) I see things that make me want to go live in a cave or just audio record truisms, strap people to a chair and put the player on “repeat.” I covered pretty extensively What Renfaires are and are not, so if you want to catch up, I’ll wait.
I recently saw a comment that said
“Renfaire performers give reenactors a bad name.”


that’s like saying “The Legends Football League makes The Patriots look bad.” Yes, it is both football, yes they both play hard but the end analysis is the audience and the outfits. Now some people might not mind seeing The Gronk in cute shorts (rule 34) and all that) but it’s not my job to make that happen, it’s my job to put on a good show.


I have biases, I *absolutely* have biases. There is one act I deeply resented for making a 60-second swordfight into a 25 minute show. And that to prep for our show, I generally had to sit through 15 minutes of it and bite my tongue. But you know what? They were another act paid to be there, they kept to their time slot, their fans were there to see them and even if it didn’t thrill me, it thrilled someone and I could be respectful of them. There are so many pieces of advice in life that boil down to “don’t be that guy.” But people clearly don’t get it.

We have reenactors in Phoenix Swords, we have LARPers, we have sword collectors, we have gamers and we have people with physical limitations-and everyone has something to give. But I focus on the reenactors for this blog. One of our guys to this day teases me that he would “never join a renfaire group” and makes mouth-breathing noises. He was at one point a full-time reenactor and he is paid to do presentations. Much as some faire stuff will go up my nose, the stories I hear from the other side of that fence make me blanch. And I have a considerable amount of reenactor friends. I am friends with them because they embody some of the following traits.


Education-this is their love. And since all of them have experienced public schools they know very well how history is made bland, tasteless and functionally useless without human context. They work every time to make sure that the people with whom they come in contact go home with some useful or enlightening piece of information. These people track down facts like sea lions eat fish-relentlessly. And they read and gather and if new facts come to light, they change accordingly. They understand where people start from and they try to connect. Some of them are fairly stern about costuming and first-person presentation but they do it with an uplift mentality-that is they will loan out kit (costuming) train people, work with them and bring them into it with help. Sometimes they forget and I am *delighted* to poke holes in that, which is why I think they put up with me. I’ve gone to some events and I enjoyed it quite a bit but owning a troupe is expensive outlay and I would disappoint any reenactment group I joined because I have other commitments and priorities. Although I have pinky-sworn with a number of friends that when I am retired, they have dibs.


Commitment-My reenactor friends are not dabblers. They make my five-tote, closet-full costume collection look like a tug boat next to the Queen Mary. They have developed skills to support their personas-outdoor cooking, raising tents and camps, building fires, using traditional weapons, authentic hand-stitched items with accurate materials and colors. Some of them are professionals in their art and they have sunk in, feet-first with no regrets. I honestly think most people could not live for periods so roughly and live half as well. They almost had me after feeding me fire-baked food all day. But that is commitment in storage, materials and the ability to haul these items. And it requires a level of physical ability to move that stuff along. Sad to say, I haven’t seen many wheelchairs at reenactor encampments . (That’s another blog post)


Graciousness-Some say this is a lost art in our modern society. That a veneer of civility has been planed off in an effort to make all things to all people. The people with whom I am friends carry this graciousness less as an article of clothing and more as a part of themselves. They have a kindness and genteel manner that carries through the ages effortlessly. Sometimes it can look a bit silly to some people but it always makes me smile. It’s the offer to share food, to make guests comfortable, to offer what they have and to be aware that people can be comrades without the need to walk around with hands in one another’s pockets. And often it is made most obvious when dealing with an uncouth visitor or patron. They are kind and informative and try to see past any unintended brusque behavior, honey rather than vinegar.


And then there are the others. Bad reenactors give reenactors a bad name.
The pissy, elitist or disrespectful yahoos with no respect for history, other people and basic social standards. Like any hobby it is often the loud, stupid ones who get the attention. (Ask any Metalhead or Cosplayer) I know these people too, and I am not friends with them. The people who use “history” to perpetuate shitty things. A friend who is deeply involved with Viking/Icelandic history was *appalled* with the number of white supremacists who tried to haul him aboard the hate train. Those who just want to use guns or cannons to be bullies or ‘the cool kid.’ Or people who start their own reenactment group to snare and oversee others in a misguided power play. And the Farb Squad people. I have no problem with wanting to be all that, but if you are making fun of others that’s not a productive use of your time-as a friend likes to say “Stitching, not Bitching” Being snarky is not improving your authenticity game, it just alerts others you are an arse. (And thanks for that  douchecanoe semaphore BTW)


And why this really went up my proverbial nose is that reenacting is not necessarily entertaining. This is something many reenactors forget-that just because YOU think it’s cool, others don’t. You are at an advantage at a reenactment event because people are there to see that. But if you are at a town celebration or a renaissance faire, you’d better get that groove on or you are just weird people talking funny about boring stuff. And then my friends, you have now strayed onto MY turf and we have spent years tinkering with how to hold a crowd or make connections. So if you decide to cast aspersions onto renfaire entertainers, please remember, we don’t (or shouldn’t) go to your events and take a crap on your welcome mat.


Now a sampling of sites and friends who reenact (not a complete listing!)
Wachusett Mountain Men 
(http://www.telegram.com/article/20080908/NEWS/809080342/1008/NEWS02)
Romantically Bent -clothier
Salem Zouaves
Guild of Saint Moritz
Saugus Iron Works
Andy Volpe
Normans of the Southern Sun
Musee de venoge

And you could google this but for the sake of completeness
http://www.reenactor.net/https://www.facebook.com/groups/2209101458/

Performance troupe, why don’t you guys do ‘X’?

We’ve had some fairly frustrating conversations with marketers and website consultants about “growing our business” and it’s fairly clear they have *no idea* what it really is we do as a troupe who does sword shows and fire shows. We’ve been around for 13 years as of September and although that’s probably 80% “sheer cussedness,”  we’ve always had a clear vision of who we are and what we want to do.

How do you define success? Well if we based it solely on money we’d have some larger economic issues. We knew when we started we did not want performing as a full-time job-we have personal and profession success elsewhere. But we do feel it is important to have money enough to support the endeavor and have found that most employers will often not respect the free act (which has its own hazards) and there are costs with maintaining insurance, practice space, storage space,  equipment and training. So getting the balance of money with job satisfaction and effort is an ever-changing juggling act.

All things to all people is not workable
If we had taken the advice of others we’d be the star-wars-pirate-steampunk-fantasy game sword fighting, fire juggling, acrobatics and vendor act. And yes, wouldn’t that be unwieldly? It’s not that we haven’t flirted, investigated or dabbled in other things-it’s just that it didn’t speak to the expertise we already had. We did peek a bit into Steampunk but the outlay in new materials, costuming and development would have cut into getting sword teachers, replacing equipment we already possessed and needed to replace/fix.  We have added and subtracted things over the years-puppet shows, kids skits, large-scale complex acts (Historical Deathmatch as an example.) And as for Star Wars-there are so many specialists now, that there’s no need for us to maintain that piece. What we will always keep is the historical sword research,  demonstrations and the comedy sword fights. And Fire show-even though there are fire specialty groups, we have a well-oiled machine, and it keeps a nice balance and break from just swords.

How do we stand out from other groups?
In our state we have 22 sword groups and with that level of saturation it can be hard to keep busy. We differentiate ourselves with historical research,  developing new demonstrations, bringing in sword trainers and doing bi-yearly assessments with the people who trained US. We have noticed that everyone suffers from what we call “photocopy syndrome”  That is, if you have a document, copied from a document, from a document, the quality degrades. (Think cloning for you scientists out there, screen record for you video pirates) Every time you take a step from the original it gets rougher and less clear. So it’s good to step back, get a view from someone outside the organization and get things back into balance. We have insurance and we practice almost every week.  As for the two founders, we DO practice every week. We may be older and slower but we know that like sharks-keep moving to stay alive.  And  not everyone does what we do or is interested in performance.  As we like to say,  our group is universally reviled by history buffs, stage performers, fire acts and WMA enthusiasts.

Our shows are strongly informed by our talent pool and requirements
We always put forth our best foot but sometimes we are hired for larger jobs and not everyone can do every thing. Sometimes our best fight partners for a particular sequence are not available and we may put another “fight module” in place. It’s seamless to the person hiring us but all our performers have strengths and weaknesses and we prefer to lead with our strengths. And if we have a large job that needs dancers, musicians or fire specialists then we will sub-contract that expertise rather than exhaust our usual players. I will often sacrifice stage time so that I can fill in as a stage manager, or do less fire act to be a spotter. There are no small roles when it comes to a performance. Our job as leaders is to uplift, enable, praise and raise.  And occasionally kiss boo-boos. The best show is one with an excellent support staff so the stage hams can get out there and do what they do best without distractions.

Our performances are strongly seasonal.
We do travel quite a bit but here in New England we have about four decent months to get out and do what needs to be done. Faires here are spring and fall heavy and the events try to do their best not to overlap one another’s weekends.  We have two HUGE faires and a bouquet of smaller events that bloom during that time. It makes me wince and pull faces to say “no” to a job, but we’ve experienced the days of splitting the troupe to do concurrent jobs and I think it hurts performance and morale to do it.  And I won’t lie, doing a job in Florida in March is a very nice break from some of these Massachusetts winters.  The harder part is keeping discipline to keep working and developing when most would rather stay in, cocoon and eat comfort food.

After all  this time, I am happy to give a hat tip to folks who are starting new acts. We know how hard it  is starting out in faires. And within our parameters we are happy to tinker, change up and work with our folks to give them tools, training and space to be great.  We try to refine what we do for good performance not to be the latest and greatest-but then we have a limited history span and in our case, it’s an advantage! So if we are not donning space suits or goggles, now you know why!

Everyone has to start somewhere...

Atelophobia is the fear of not being good enough or imperfection… makes the afflicted person feel like everything they do is wrong.

Everyone has bad days, for a variety of reasons and for this blog piece I’m specifying the fear of not being good enough to do or run an act for the renaissance faire.  Unless someone has a deep theater or busking background before their first appearance at the faire, then they are probably correct, but that shouldn’t stop you.

We are all babies when we start out. We throw our caution to the wind, we wear our heart on our sleeves and we wobble out to the audience with our arms raised.  In many cases our desire to please is enough to charm most people, but in many cases it isn’t and we get smacked down or fall under our own weight and ungainliness.

That’s why it is imperative that despite that misstep, that we learn, gather ourselves and do it again. And again. And how do you measure that bit of success? That’s up to you but I feel it in crowd reaction, feedback from others and a sense of how I accomplished what I set out to do. (Evoking good questions, getting kids to approach and experience, attaboys from my peers) And more importantly it’s how you handle it when  it goes poorly.  And statistically, that will happen.

Please note I’m not talking about faire drama, or being personally abused because that should absolutely not happen, and if it does, needs to be stopped immediately. But not everyone will love what you do, which is a strength and a weakness. If someone loves singing acts, we will not be their cup of tea and that is perfectly okay and I won’t take it personally.

In our early days, I absolutely took it personally.  That anger and resentment was the fuel that kept me going. But it is NOT a good long-term motivator-it burns you from the inside out and your detractors would only have satisfaction to know you are doing it. And I suffered from experiencing imposter syndrome even though the facts were laid out in front of me. It was ridiculous, I’d been studying with well-respected sword teachers who liked me as a student and I still felt like I held everyone back with my clumsiness and endless questions. (Sounds like your typical YA  novel doesn’t it?) But the fact is, you can be as angsty as you like-it won’t get you one step closer to self -improvement, only work can do that. And you have to focus on getting better, it’s the one thing that shuts up all the inner self voices that  are haranguing you. That’s what I tell the folks in Phoenix-this is OUR time and you need to focus and *I* need to focus, too.

So the long-winded answer is this, none of us will ever be good enough for everybody, but we should be good enough (eventually) for our own sense of peace. I’m not saying rest on your laurels. (Because if you are, you’re wearing them in the wrong place) But even if you are the worst juggler/sword fighter/jester/luteplayer ever, at least you took the first step to becoming the act you imagine yourself to be.

Gear: Stuff I found useful and you can too! (Rennie starter kit?)

I am thinking of you-that's right, you with the poet shirt, jeans and  maille jewelry, this is for you :)

A friend of mine with The Guild of Saint Maurice told me she never went anywhere without wool inserts(for shoes and boots.) Since we know someone with an alpaca farm, I made use of their store and bought two sets of Alpaca Wool Inserts (scroll down on the page)

As it happened, when we met for historical study, another friend mentioned she dances with a group and spends long times on hard surfaces-so I gave her a set. I would like to give these a big thumbs-up. I’m not sure it can take the pounding that concrete gives (I’ll still use Gel Soles) but on more forgiving surfaces it’s great and a bonus is that will keep your feet warm!  My dancing friend gave an endorsement for inserts light slippers in cold New England ballrooms!

Gloves-these folks are less expensive than a number of other places and get your order out FAST. So if you are buying gloves especially (but be sure to check out some of the other items) I order 4-5 pairs of their soft leather gloves and 2 pairs of the harder leather. (We are very hard on gloves, and we pass on old pairs to new members)
Darkwood Armoury

Need garb/costuming? Have no idea what? Not at a renfaire?  These folks have a good range of initial items. Recently once of our members realized he was missing a simple shirt and couldn’t wear his older stuff-easily solved, two quick oufits! Will I vouch for historical accuracy-no. But a serviceable items, quickly gotten and machine washable, plus great sales.
RenstoreLooking to move up on the kit chain? A bit more pricey but I love everything I've bought.
Historic Enterprises
Want to make your own?
Reconstructing history (patterns)

Starter swords-don’t invest big if you aren’t sure. We recommend the practical longsword. Kult of Athena

Like to have a little ring to your sword blows? Takes a beating and keeps on beating? Starfire

Boots-buy them in person, sorry :) But a starter vendor is often Son of Sandlar or House of Andar.

Stuff/accessories

Phoenix Swords own list
Links we've compiled

Disclaimer: I don't do sales for these people or receive any gratuities. I am not a "kit" purist, I post these to help out new folks to the renfaire community.

That’s not how you use that!

We often have to ride that fine line between being practical and looking somewhat authentic.  One of the jokes I make when someone dismisses some of our equipment. (We are performers first and only in a limited capacity reenactors) my response is 
“Historically if they could have used it, they would have!” and we have a good laugh about it. That’s why we have tapestry covered folding chairs, bungie cords and other items. But one has to be inventive about hauling around equipment and storage so I’m sharing some of the ways we do that or-

 How a troupe has used perfectly ordinary items for a nonintended use

Tool Rack-This is a Rubbermaid tool rack. It collapses down into two bases and some short plastic legs and it fits flat in the car. If you’ve packed up a car for an event, one can appreciate a device that anyone can manhandle out of the car and can sit in the boot of most SUVs. We have two troupe-colored covers fastened with elastic and a safety pin. The rack is held in place by the very bungies that kept it a unit. It’s a terrible tool rack because it is HARD to take tools in and out but a GREAT sword rack because handsy people can’t just grab things and it is always a good idea to move a sword, slowly and carefully within the confines of a tent.

Car roof webbing: This turned out to be too elastic for most of our rooftop needs but when even the sword rack takes up too much room it makes a great hanging web for storing those same swords. One of the limitations is that it does not have the same capacity as the rack but if you have few people but need more real estate inside the tent-it’s ideal. And it takes up even less room than the tool rack. Available at most automotive stores

Hockey bags-Over the years we’ve tried a number of different sword bags. We use gun cases for our more expensive swords. (Aside, did you know that at certain southern airports no one blinks at a gun case but tell them that you are checking in a sword and they freak out? Just sharing that information so you are prepared) But frankly, the gun cases take space and so we have found the most tough and resilient bags are hockey bags. They are built to hold skates with blades, meant to be manhandled and some of the larger ones come with wheels. Golf Bags are also a good all-around choice for a number of items-we use them for tent parts, sword bags and general equipment. They are easily available and inexpensive so can tide you over until you can invest in something higher-end. We generally buy at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Back in the early days...our current tent is much nicer

Pop-ups and poles-we used popups for years.  I honestly thing these are the heart of all small renfaires. The bigger festivals can afford to be fussy but this is the town that appears overnight  so that you can have a renfaire.  Also some folks have limited hands and mobility so this is much easier than a canvas and pole set-up which generally takes a minimum of three-to-four people. We love having our tent but when doing one-day festivals, or when it rains,  I miss having a popup. And you can really make them zing with covers and accents and in some cases, I think they add a certain insouciance that reminds stuffy faires of their roots. Some folks have cover designs online and some folks sell them.  We used to buy our tents at Dicks (see above) or there are good sales to be had in the winter at Elite Deals. And if you can’t afford sides you can grab inexpensive tapestries (see below)

Organizer bits-our favorite is the hanging shoe rack which is perfect for all those faire gifts, wallets,  glasses etc. and did you notice that it packs flat?  

Bedspreads/tapestries/Curtains –these are great for covering gear, coolers, setting up change areas and dealing with water control.  We pack a bag of nothing but these to bring with us. I generally but from Indian Bedspreads but if you are inventive and crafty you can do canvas floor cloths as sides (google will bring up a host of DIY sites)

The last item I have on here is not authentic but such a great windfall that I have to share. We use an inflatable cooler  for keeping water and other  items corralled. The Inflatable Pirate Chest.  it’s cheap, it’s ugly and it is hard to blow up but it does the job and packs into a tiny bag. We didn’t have high hopes but it has survived two years with us.

Two of our members-Valkyrie and Monica are amazing at coming up with new ideas for making us light, mobile and efficient (several of these are their brainchild) And I am sure that many of you out there are coming up with some great stuff. So feel free to share in comments and I hope you found this useful. With any luck, we’ll have found a NEW batch of artifacts in a few years and will be revising this blog post!

Doing manual research-right up there with paint drying

With spring coming (eventually) I look forward to swinging  around swords and fire without so much hazard and clothing. But winter does lend itself to sitting down, reading manuals and doing some interpretation and scholarship. This generally leads to some peer review, some plays from history and if we’re lucky, a shared class and a new demonstration for the historical show.

Earlier, I’d become sick of driving 30+ miles each way for a group that meets in Cambridge, MA at MIT. It’s a good group but it was wearing on me. I asked “Why can’t we have a group that meets nearby? (and if you’ve driven in MA, you know why we are called M*SSholes) So we started Worcester Historical Oral Martial Practitioner’s Study (yes, that spells WHOMPS) It’s a few friends, Fenix and me in various backyards and living rooms going through facsimiles and translations. (Outrageous and non-period correct costumes optional)

Recently someone made a general inquiry and I told her 
“It mostly takes enthusiastic people, some source material and a living room with a high ceiling”
Really and truly that is your primordial ooze of historical European martial arts.

I also lure people with cookies

Here’s how we did it-we picked a manual  from here:
http://www.umass.edu/renaissance/lord/collection.html

Then we looked at some online translations and did our best to kluge through and make sense of it all. This involved calling in favors with people who spoke and wrote French,  asking some folks familiar with smallsword and taking our best guess.

From there, we did approximately 1-2 sections per session. This involved having the English, our friend’s notes from our sessions, a projected image and an out-loud reader. Ideally you’d have a minimum of three people. We are fortunate to have four so we can swap out bodies, ideas and readers.   I tease our “bodies” and call them “Western Martial Arts Barbie” –that is, the outside observers position them, watch the maneuvers and critique. If you have a thin skin, this part will go poorly for you.  And if you have bias regarding another martial arts form-it will show up here. The difficult part is following the manual and not throwing in what you feel. And if you present the material that way to others-prepare to take the heat. I have been at a number of events where an interpretation has been presented and the speaker was stunned when the material was  skinned, gutted and held over an open flame (figuratively) If you try to cite your material and can’t find the relevant piece of reference, then it’s not really using the source material, it’s just making stuff up. And there are plenty of people with internet-bought blades slicing milk jugs and posting it on YouTube, thank you.

But you need people who are good at physical interpretation to balance your scholars. Because many treatises are fairly obscure and vague, sometimes there will be a position shown, a description and a WTH finish with no explanation. Bridging that gap is where the understanding of bodies, blades and geometry comes into play. I know a couple of people with a fantastic grasp of this-and they are still often wrong on the first go around.  Sometimes you will not come to an agreement within the group and you have to agree to move on and revisit it another day. No one gets it on the first try. Sadly we can’t reanimate these sword masters and ask what it was they *really* meant, we can only do our best guess with what they have left us. And there are similarities-in all martial arts-bodies move in limited ways, but we have to make sure it is physics, not slipping in some other form. An analogy might be using frog DNA to create dinosaurs, and we all know how that turned out….

Reproducible results is one of the tricky points. This is my strength-I am the one with the dumb look on my face who says
“I don’t get it.” And I am willing to do it over, and over and over, and over until it is clear to me. And very often watching me struggle with something will illuminate that it is just a bad idea. It’s a gift, I know. And I might need someone to say that “It’s like George Silver” or a similar “maneuver in Swetnam” to get it. And there is nothing like teaching it to others to blow holes in all these nice interpretations and theories. Which brings me to;

Peer review, a key part to making sure you have done it correctly. I am not saying that more advanced sword users are always right-in fact, it’s good to question them and their opinions. Like you, they have to be ready to back the horse they rode in on and cite sources  and show and tell. “Because I said so” only works with your parents, not with your peers. If your work can’t stand this scrutiny, then it isn’t good work. I’m not saying that it is not discouraging or that you have to take what others say as gospel, but it IS good to take an additional look at your work. Sometimes we are too attached, or too close to our interpretation to see its flaws. A practitioner I respect very much was asked about a change he made in some teaching material and he had to admit he’d thrown some 19th century boxing techniques into the class, and had to admit that then the play was not a direct interpretation and should not be represented as part of the original material. Everything was all better over beer.

One of my favorite parts of continued work with weapons manuals-beer (after sword work) and camaraderie. Like any accomplishment, when you receive kudos for it, it’s great to share those accolades because in the wider world, that will not be forthcoming.  But when others in your sword community admire solid work, that makes it worthwhile. Different weapons will have different distances, stances, techniques and speeds. One will not use a poll arm like a dagger or a longsword like a cudgel (usually.) It can be maddening to see individuals dismissing the differences. The whole “to a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail,” people. They make me a little crazy and it’s disrespectful.  So if you are someone at a renfaire and you make fun of people who have done more research  and then quote Wikipedia at me-in my mind I am sending you to a special hell. And other uncharitable thoughts.  But the bright side was that a German manuals scholar recognized our work at a faire-he rocked our world AND he wanted us to clarify the manual year. We are still talking about that to this day. So it’s not a big segment of the population but some people can appreciate and recognize flavors of swordplay.

The last thing I have to say about this is that you don’t have to be a snob about it. I will *gladly* and *gently* talk about swords with anyone who wants to discuss them. Manual interpretation is not sport fencing, it is not sparring (although information can cross those borders) and it’s not SCA fighting. It is its own creature and we are all better off discussing it in context. I would love to bring more people, regardless of physical skill into more historical research but it is not for everyone. It’s time consuming, problematic and riddled with as many alpha personalities as any other interest.  And it’s not for us to judge how it is used. A number of our stricter friends joke with us about translating it into performance pieces-but adding an entertainment element gets it to a wider audience. One member became the dreadnought of his Live Action Role-Playing group using a historical ward he learned with us-so you never know where the information will lead or how it will play out in the big picture.  

But if it sounds like something you’d want to do-here are some links (not exhaustive, just some suggested)

For Manuals
http://www.wiktenauer.com/

Membership gives access to manuals
http://www.ahfi.org/

Finding interested parties locally: (free to join)
http://www.swordforum.com/forums/forum.php

Getting Equipment
http://casiberia.com/
http://www.darkwoodarmory.com/

Or, as always please feel free to contact me-phoenixswords@gmail.com