No Free Fire Shows!!

First, you know how I feel about free shows (except charities and donation events and even then, we discuss it) We have a rule about anyone who contacts us within a week of Halloween-Triple Rates. Why? Because 1) someone wasn’t a good planner and that doesn’t bode well. 2) Spontaneous and unplanned fire with flammable costumes and drunken people-what could go wrong? 3) WE need time to plan it into OUR schedule.
BUT NO FREE FIRE SHOWS
And here’s why;
COST:  We not only have expensive fire props but we need support for those props. That means time in training and training means a place to train. And places to train cost money-and if you ask about fire-well if they’ll even rent to you. We are VERY fortunate to have a spot we rent and are grateful they’ll have us-swords, fire and all.  We have to pay for insurance and that is never cheap. Some of our members pay for extra insurance as they do independent acts (if it’s not under the Phoenix Swords banner, it’s not coming out of our insurance) And there is LITERALLY a cost in flesh and blood which leads me to;
DANGEROUS: We are setting ourselves alight for your entertainment. Nothing is 100% safe.  Airplanes go down, food poisoning happens, and people burn themselves. In order to be where we are we have to take chances every time. And in our pricing page and contracts we have a clause that says “In the event of too much risk…”  We have had to say “nope” on a number of occasions when we saw our performance area.  And if you think all employers take into account your well-being, speak to my friend the Nigerian Prince, I’ll send you his email.

We aren’t the only ones taking a chance.
RISK:  Okay, so we’ve established you have something a *little* broken in the brain-box to play with fire. So although we may not be paragons of common sense it doesn’t mean we don’t possess any and it’s important to have!   True Story: So you would like us to perform for your city for free and “exposure.” Here’s what being exposed -you are a cheap-a$$ and we said “no.” So you got yourselves another set of performers, that’s cool. What is that person’s name?[ Real name redacted] The Dragon? That totally sounds like a Real Life name. Did you see The Dragon’s insurance? Did you have a contract with The Dragon?  Did The Dragon have a fire plan?  Nope just going to do fire stuff on some cement with no barriers and hope for the best. And they were lucky-we knew The Dragon and he does fire for fun. But what if you’d “hired” The Dragon Rando instead and he set your city on fire?  The Dragon Rando just has to change their appearance and slide out of sight and you get to breathe deeply the charred remains of the results.
RESPECT: We have been accused of being able to produce diamonds from our butts. That’s an insult we’ll live with gladly.  But honestly, people don’t generally respect what you do unless they pay for it. I used to do my art for love and then for money. After two years as a freelancer, I was done-after hearing some TERRIBLE excuses for not being paid. I wish artists could just do their thing and be beloved for it-but we don’t live in that world. To quote Cardi B(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEGccV-NOm8) “I make money moves”

And no one should have to give “free” anything but this one in particular chaps my cheeks because it speaks especially poorly of the people who are putting on a show. I understand that we are an “ask” society so yes, it never hurts to ask. But when you are asking at “0” recompense that’s not negotiation, that’s sheer contempt and disregard for not only you but the safety and well-being of others.

It’s a big sword rainbow, let’s share it

One thing I have been guilty of, fairly early on in my love affair with swords, is elitist assholery. It didn’t last long because –logic and reality. We in the troupe call this “Swordfighter-itis” A malady that strikes everyone at one point or another and some people never recover and then aggressively try to force others to embrace this view. I’ve been seeing a variant this summer, not necessarily related to swords-more to renfaires  and my view is

But back to the swords-
But I felt sad for a young man who asked us about swords at a recent show and it was clear to us that he had been hit with the snob stick already and so early. (He was a victim, not a perpetrator) and we gently steered him toward what it was we guessed might be better suited/social.  But I am putting up a set of symptoms so you may try to recognize, avoid, or limit the contagion in your own neighborhood.
Drinking the Kool-Aid-The One True Way:
One of the things we tell people in our group is that we take people from all sorts of backgrounds and try to teach a common “language” that is cooperative. It is based on what OUR sword teacher learned with Society of American Fight Directors and his own historical research. The same is true of our other sword teacher.  Both run active research groups and are always sharing new ideas and thoughts and they even often disagree! Sometimes that means throwing out the old ideas.  We don’t claim to be the end-all and be –all of how it is done but we are confident we do it fairly well and safely. One warning sign is when a group tells you everyone else is WRONG.  It may feel nice to be one of the “best of the best” by beating your opponent-but it is TERRIBLE for doing theater or demonstrations. It’s a quick way to make yourself an unpopular partner.  Thinking you are “all that and a bag of chips” does not make you the best, no matter how many join in your delusion.
Feeling the need to criticize others
Do we side-eye one another in the sword community-absolutely? But you have to back that up with facts. Plenty of people like to pick up swords and use them. Plenty of people buy cars and drive them. Like vehicles-reasons and modes are myriad. Are you the internet forum guy who criticizes Prius owners for not going 4-wheeling in mud flats? You are an idiot. Some study groups are good-natured people with day jobs who are there for mostly social reasons. Some want to bang on one another in armor. Some people just want to show off their weapons and some people want to discuss weapons in literature.  We have one group that I STILL catch them badmouthing my group publicly (just certain members of that group, admittedly .Ironically, these same people haven’t done a show in YEARS.)  My partner, Fenix, reminded me of us being at a number of events where someone bashed our group in our presence because they honestly had no idea who we were or who was in our group or if any of the rumors were true or fake.  I wish I could say I enjoyed their realization, but honestly it probably just fueled their indignation more.  There is a group I recently discussed with my own group and they had to agree that they were not being safe and to be fair, not their goal.  But it may cost them work because others in the community have complaints.   As for us-we stay out of it (see Godzilla film gif above)

When you are douchebag you make our whole community look BAD.
Sure people will be drawn to cults of personality initially but that is not a stable foundation.   This is true of a BUNCH of different groups.  You do not make yourself taller by cutting down others (couldn’t find the quote)  I recently read something on the[name redacted] Forum community on Facebook that made me want to hurl objects. A woman had joined a group and they basically were not supporting her in training.
Fenix has an ancestral family motto “God Gives Good Gifts to Everyone” and if a person can’t use a sword, give them a dagger. If they can’t fight-go with their strengths and see how you can help. I would say that everyone has something to offer but some folks I’ve met challenge that baseline so what can you do? But you should give them a shot and let them discover their own story.
So this was longer than intended but basically, in a state with this many sword groups, you have to share the ecosystem (or in some cases, the EGOsystem) and the sooner you turn your eyes to your own self-development, the better you, and the community will be.
And bonus link
http://guywindsor.net/blog/2017/07/if-nobodys-mocking-you-youre-not-working-hard-enough/

Complex feelings about "borrowing" from other cultures in movies and art

Cultural appropriation, it's definitely a thing in our circles.  But often we cling to some things that perhaps need to be shared and made new again-folklore is a good example. We should just make something original and unique to our inner life.  In many instances we should have been more respectful of the things we've lifted from other places.  I hope you'll read the links I post here, think about them and see where you go with those thoughts. I'm still chewing on them. (There are a ton I could post)

Camelocked Stocked: A King Arthur Review
https://thenerdsofcolor.org/2017/05/21/camelocked-stocked-a-king-arthur-review/#more-30588

Le Morte d’Athur: Saving our ransacked mythology
https://nation.cymru/2017/le-morte-dathur-saving-our-ransacked-mythology/

Orientalism:
https://www.ancientsculpturegallery.com/paintings/oil-paintings-reproductions/art-movement/orientalism-art-movement.html

Karlie Kloss Apologizes for Appropriating Japanese Culture in Vogue Photo Shoot
http://www.eonline.com/news/829700/karlie-kloss-apologizes-for-appropriating-japanese-culture-in-vogue-photo-shoot

Is it respectful? Is it accurate? Is it sharing or stealing?
This post brought to you by my costuming for the Fantasy Folklore Festival and things I always agonize over.

Renfaires: Gateway drug to history

When we were at the symposium a few weeks ago, Roger Norling told the attendees he became interested in HEMA because he’d seen a fencing demonstration at a Renaissance Faire.  He’s not the first person from whom we’ve heard that and it’s good thing to keep in mind of you are doing sword demonstrations at a renfaire. It made me think of some things we keep in mind before we go out on stage.

People go to faires to have fun-it’s a good way to hook in anyone. People are receptive, they are in a good mood and if you sneak in some education under the radar-even better. One of the things I have to hold back on is overpowering the questioner. I try to let them lead the questions, tell me their story and then do a sub-conscious set of calculations to see what it is that *really* interests them. And be interested in them- If you are reciprocal then you learn some cool things as well. I’ve talked to veterans, active soldiers, survivors of gang violence, dojo runners, martial artists, other HEMA folks and just plain interesting individuals.  In many cases, we aren’t the sort of thing the person is looking for and I am happy we’ve taken the time to keep a set of links on our website to guide them on their journey.

We let people touch things. Humans are visceral creatures who like to work that instinct of feeling a thing to explore it. Often, just before our shows, we walk around and let the audience hold the longsword or one of the falchions. (As an inside fact, this is a good way to kill some time before the start and when people see non-performers with a sword, they too, want a sword. Audience magnet!)  We do sword lessons with kids at some shows (for pay) depending on our agenda for the day and we see recurring faces year after year. We talk about how swords “touch back” which is important. Just like fire it’s not “if” but “when” for getting a little reminder that there is danger involved with handling these things. People are amazed by the clearly used edges, the weight and yes if it’s a wet day…the rust.

Be casual and not preachy, exclusionary or elitist. I won’t lie, some people can pull off the “I’m am just that cool” vibe but that shine wears right off if you denigrate your audience and don’t keep learning yourself. There is a certain woman, media famous in the HEMA community that I used to admire. She still does good work but chose to make fun of tourists in her blog.  First-“if ya can’t say something nice…” Secondly, she was no doubt supported on this tour by someone who probably didn’t look like her but was vicarious with her by sponsorship.  And third, it was supposed to be about her sword studies, meetings etc. so off-topic. I am delighted to let folks of all stripes and abilities touch and learn about swords because “don’t be that guy.”  I won’t lie, I’m enjoying some of the folks side-by-side with me start to realize that perhaps scholarship is not just there for the younger folks to rip off and you too, will catch “the old.”

If you don’t get it out there, no one will know.  I’m not going to tally the number of times that I have calmly swallowed down some fury and carefully explained our position of research, that we don’t know everything and that maybe it’s not such a good thing to be bombastic and insulting to peers in the sword community. I often find myself mentally quoting our friends in Mystic Mercs.
“You do you.”
So yes, you may the most amazing swordsperson and scholar ever, but if no one else knows or you don’t share for review, well, it’s going to stay your special secret. Sure we wear silly costumes and are in a context of fantasy but do get it out there and do open that portal for someone who would only think this sort of stuff happens in movies or media with no connection. And you need to hustle- I won’t lie, I keep a public list littered with the names of dead and defunct sword performers, strictly for informational purposes of course.

And Reenactors/historians, I’ve posted what I have to say about renfaires vs reenactment and, you’re welcome that I directed people your way.  We freely admit that history is cool and wish HALF of what we learn in our exploration was in public school textbooks. (George Silver and his call-outs to Italian fencers, Or Talhoffer versus Pirates on the Rhine) Many people want their sword show and their turkey leg. Others would like to know more and we are happy to direct them to more.  So sure we’re a little sketchy in our mixed-material, brightly colored outfits and we make jokes that encourage groaning but we do get out there and we do bring that first taste of history.   And if we can get them to bite down on that first bit, maybe we’ve just addicted them to some more education.

Or just made fabric-holics and clothes horses but *shrug*

Thirteenth Annual Symposium on Historical Swordsmanship (UMass)

We attend this event annually at the University of Massachusetts Renaissance Center and it always has interesting speakers. Everything ranging from poll arm collectors to Bartistu show up and speak.  This year there were three speakers were:
Roger Norling of HOARR 
Mike Chidester of Wiktenauer 
Jean Chandler of System d’ Armes 

Roger Norling is an imposing figure in person and personally greeted us as we entered. And I’m not just saying a physical guy (which he is) but also someone who feels constrained by a simple human body, a presence. He didn’t need to be put on a microphone and we heard him in the back just fine! He did a contextual examination of “The life of Freifechter and Fetchmeister Joachim Meyer." He presented photos, maps and historical documents discussion Meyers connection certain streets, churches and guilds and shared some funny anecdotes on some of his data and photo collection.

He sent around a very nice facsimile volume that has visited many of these locations that had no printing or publisher information although several of us looked :)

“Hans Medel and the Evolution of Tradition” was the subject of Michael Chidester’s talk. If you followed the link you know that Mike is one of the founders of Wiktenauer(http://wiktenauer.com/) and a great many of the materials he discussed are online and available there. Of interest-family “trees” of the Lichtenhauer tradition, some clearly copied material mistaken as a primary reference and the discovery of some manuals Meyer planned to write about.

He mentioned some manuals of interest so we purchased a copy of The 'Lost' Second Book of Nicoletto Giganti(1608)  and we’ll probably be working through some plays this summer.

Post-lunch we enjoyed a talk by Jean Chandler. In fact, I enjoy his talks so much that I generally record them rather than take pictures. I would include a link here but my phone is being a pain about the video. His talk was a  view on “The Uncommon World of the Common Merchant” discussing knight-pirates (from Talhoffer) armed citizens and interguild warfare within trade conglomerates. (Mongols and Sweden were big issues!) I love all the talks but Jean chooses to focus on everyday folks who keep things running rather than just swordsmen it is especially fascinating to me

Roger revisited the lectern with “Research Methods and Tools for Understanding Combat Manuals” and I was sad, that unlike previous years we didn’t go out onto the lawn and either handle or see weapons work.  But he did show us his work on youtube with a pike. If you have ever handled one, you can appreciate how hard it is to 1) lift these with one hand 2) control and target without that second hand! We’ve done this but with stiffer, shorter weapons-still HARD!

We had been invited to attend some demonstrations/workshops on Friday or Sunday-sadly, we are at least two hours out and have a troupe performance coming up!

As always, a thank-you to Jeff Lord and Jeff Goodhind for making it all happen and keeping things running smoothly. And to the Amherst Women’s Club for refreshments during the event.

To see more events; (early music, gardens, theater, and more)
https://www.umass.edu/renaissance/calendar.htm

Stolen Glory

I love it when people go to movie premieres in costume, or if they make a good run at getting into the atmosphere at a faire. But when people dress in a costume and attempt to distract from an event, well a line has been crossed.  There are times when someone dressing up is more like outfitting as the King of Burger King and stealing all your fries while you are eating. I’m going to give some bad examples and let you be the judge when I describe what flew up my…nose at a recent museum. So here is my personal opinion, although this is the business blog, I’m not going to claim it is how ALL of Phoenix Swords feels.

Here is a general idea;

Example 1

Couple refused entry to Victoria’s Butchart Gardens because they’re too … Victorian
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/doff-your-hat-or-you-cant-come-in-couple-refused-entry-to-victoria-garden-because-theyre-too-victorian

And the contrasting view

Putting Things In Their Places: Vox’s Much-Despised Victorians
https://saintanselmhistory.wordpress.com/2015/09/11/putting-things-in-their-places-voxs-much-despised-victorians/

Example 2
Parking Scam:
http://towingutopia.blogspot.com/2008/05/here-is-great-story-with-lots-of-local.html

Now as someone who has worked at both museums and Renfaires I have a pretty high tolerance for costumes and exuberant behavior. But as I’ve said in previous entries-people should be aware of CONTEXT and whether or not they make things difficult for the venue. Most folks working at these places are NOT making the big bucks and when you make their life more difficult you are not “putting it to the man” you are just making some low-paid employee unhappy and causing risk and problems

I went to a museum this weekend  to see a replica ship. Some people totally got into the spirit by wearing funny hats and amusing tee-shirts. They clearly were there to drink beer, eat chowder, buy souvenirs and have a good time. The family dressed as Saxons-not so much. They made sure to station themselves next to this draw and when people asked them questions they made sure to draw attention to themselves and “quote history”  at people.  They were not there to have a conversation, or to add depth, or even meet like-minded people. They were lucky that they were not shut down by museum employees (and this one DOES have costumed reenactors in specified locations) but we had the impression that the museum folks were a little overwhelmed by the number of  visitors and events happening concurrently.

We live in New England, people are accustomed to costumed interpreters and some asked
“Do you work for the museum?” To their credit,  they did not pretend to do so. But if you are making it a point to stand out and be costumed, you are intimating that yes, you ARE part of what is going on.  Good playtrons(Costumed visitors)  at a faire will make it a point to know where bathrooms and first aid is and follow the rule about sheathed weapons.  And will make a point not to detract from the act/event/thing that everyone else is there to see .

You need to examine WHY you have dressed up. If it’s to be part of something, that’s a good start. If it’s to be the center of attention –then unless you are working there, you should reconsider trying to hog the limelight.

It would be great if visitors could distinguish good and bad information but often they’ve come someplace to be entertained and then perhaps educated.  If I hear someone talking about “blood grooves” in swords at a faire where we are working,  I have been known to drop what I’m doing and leap in like Wonder Woman with a lasso of truth. I have to bite my tongue at many museums because if I do that then I am being just as bad as the first person.

Paraphrasing Jeff Foxworthy, you might be a glory parasite if:

• You are taking away from a main event that is not you on stage
• You are out of context and not in a good way
• You actively came seeking confrontation
• You have to speak loudly and make eye contact perhaps expose body parts to flaunt what you are doing (and aren’t onstage)
• You do not allow interactive conversations, it is all you-talking.all.the.time
• You are acting like a rebellious teenager with a fresh spite piercing
• You don’t work there and distract people from those that do

And most people who do this know they are doing it. I won’t say there isn’t the occasional clueless person but if we approach all interactions politely and yet that person is *extremely defensive* without cause…yeah.

Reenactors and enthusiastic costumed people can add a great deal to cultural institutions but we need to do it cooperatively, otherwise you’re just an asshole. And frankly I don’t want to deal with the fallout you cause every time I have to put on my kit and go to work. So JUST DON'T DO IT.

The weekend of breaking things!

But at least we didn’t break any glass at the glass museum!

Many performers have what we call “theme weekends.” It’s not the fun ones that faires have, like “Steampunk” or “Star Wars Invasion.” Nope they are things like “Guess I’ll go off my meds without warning!” or “Hey, we never knew he was sociopath but here’s proof!” Our theme this weekend was “Broken Things”

We decided to leave early to beat traffic and broke our first thing-the longest trip to Southern NJ we have ever taken. A 5-hour trip took 8.5 and every traffic app we own said “Are you New York? Sucks to be you!”  Thanks technology, glad you were able to show us our choices in multiple formats and colors.

But we reached our intended event location, unpacked and while getting into bed received a text from one of our members (paraphrased)
“Hey, just wanted to let you know I have broken a finger on my right hand”

I would like to say that my first response was “OMG are you okay?” But I am one of those bastard troupe leaders and my first questions were more Law and Order than Florence Nightingale. Followed then by “I’m so sorry. We’ll work something out in the morning.” Both my husband and the members husband said they understood I was in shock since we were running short of staff and this was quite the show-stopper when you run a sword-fighting troupe.  But the good news was that our member is a trooper so we ditched the complicated choreography and she decided to go on left-handed. 

Next, we decided to set up the tent. So I popped open the canvas bag and nearly upchucked my non-breakfast. A mouse had decide to do its strychnine-laced death dance inside our tent bag, leaving stinky decomposition, body imprints and semi-poisoned yellow stains like polka-dots across our shelter.  It was potent enough that when I pulled the first piece of canvas the rest of the troupe began sympathetic retching.

Me, the one with the best sense of smell, but used to bad odors (thanks to a former job at a natural history museum) and the member with the worst sense of smell pulled the sides out of immediate vicinity. So we had no tent for the weekend and fortunately did have real estate for scrubbing and airing.  But we had to keep our fingers crossed that the wind kept a certain direction during performance. (see scrubbing picture above)

So out we went with impromptu dialogue and fight bits and during our first stage performance with the main cast, my sword broke. My partner told me
“Hey I broke your sword!” which was completely in character and so I finished the set pommel-less. (Yay, not the blade! See a previous entry for THAT story)

And then, in our Historical show, while doing a high-arc halberd maneuver the haft of the pollarm cracked. Luckily, it was well-anchored at each side so while it sounded spectacular, it stayed in place and we finished with another weapon. I was fairly sad since I’d been so excited to do the poll arms part of the demonstration.

But Mr. Murphy and his law were not finished with us. While waiting to go on, another performer sat in a chair it pretty much dissolved under him.  It was ungainly, but fortunately no one was hurt.

It wasn't all breakage and tears- ran into a former member who now lives in PA, gave our God daughter her first sword and she was able to perform with us and had FANTASTIC weather and a really good time.

Personal thoughts: Organizing a Renaissance Faire

I’ve been doing this blog for a number of years,  and  have yet to talk about the experience of organizing a renaissance faire. I’ve done three.  Every single one has made me cry. All in different, terrible ways. I open with this because making this only one blog entry is impossible so I’ll isolate some general things in this one, rather than take on that task.

Organizing a faire has three major costs, financial, emotional and social.  At the end of it you will be bleeding from a thousand cuts and if you wonder why so many successful faire organizers are rampaging arseholes (they don’t have to be, mind you) it may be  that you need to grow a thick skin and be willing to cut babies in half (aka King Solomon)

First, read this: So you want to start a renfaire:
Have you finished? No really, go back and read it.

So let’s say you have hit this checklist and still think it’s worthwhile. Great, now watch this video (skip in 30 seconds) 
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-6sxl27Ytmhbbbu/the_producers_2005_empty_safe/

I have violated this so many  times because I am a perfectionist. And as a performer, I made sure all my performers were paid in advance. And all my bills as well. Many organizers rely on their vendor fees to support the cost of the faire. This is a big gamble and doesn’t always pay off. It might go great the first year but if vendors don’t get a financial return, they don’t physically return. And if you are in a fire/show/event rich area like we are, you are competing to get the interesting sellers.

You can put on a good small faire for about 2-3 thousand dollars (not including site) and *a lot* of volunteer help. And no matter how much you budget-it won’t be enough.  Having sponsors is great but you may be making a deal with the Devil as well. I’ve seen some pretty scary “partner interactions, some people do believe that paying sufficient amounts of money means they’ve bought you, body and soul. It’s a tough thing to have giants signs for a business in the middle of your medieval town. It’s your call.

Emotional. Yeah. If you have a good support network that is a great thing. Running a renfaire is a lot like getting married, it’s a big commitment, it’s expensive, it has a lot of moving parts and it produces Bridezillas. Oh, and  so many unexpected, rampaging drama llamas. My husband told me that he could spot me  across fields 1) by the timbre of my voice 2) the rocketing projectile of the top of my head soaring through the air.

I am sure I made terrible remarks about unborn children and peoples naughty bits. My only defense is that it was in response to some fairly WTF things. Like vendor coordinators quitting within three weeks of a faire after finding out they hadn’t sent out any vendor contracts or a person who was going to help me advertise simply vanishing.*poof* So not only was I putting out fires, I was getting into hazard gear and putting out different kinds of metaphorical  fires. And you will be a terrible friend, and faires have cost me friends. Nothing like a giant mess with you at the top of the pyramid . And the best-run faires generally aren’t democracies. As that perfectionist,  I was a rampaging beoch who was willing to take the hit, so the folks helping me could run interference and have a stick to brandish. The flip side is that I judge faires, and I judge them to a high standard. I will forgive a lot if they have accessibility,  potties, places to sit, people to help and lots of  food.

Emotionally I found running a faire to be like having a an alien baby-extreme pain, emotional anguish and then it was born with a full set of teeth and chewed its way out anyway.

Socially-running a faire killed my social life. It turned all my friends into potential assets, people who disagreed into obstacles. And people will fight you about some of the most unbelievable things-

• No, you can’t park in the swampy field, you will not get out
• No,  I have spent my budget for performers and I don’t feel that your steampunk/neongypsy/cowboy/ cousin is a good fit anyway
• No, I am not changing the lot assignment the night before for YOUR sense of aesthetics

It’s a shame the song “no” wasn’t around when I did faire organizing because I would just put these lyrics on a quickly-triggered MP3 on my phone to play on repeat
My name is no, my sign is no, my number is no
You need to let it go, you need to let it go

Were there pros?
Yes there were.

For the third one, I put on the faire I always thought I could with the great people at Ye Olde Commons. We had nothing but positive feedback except for some accessibility issues.  My troupe did a fantastic job - huge shout-out to Monica and Valkyrie for going above and beyond. And I owe so much to my husband who came in and helped me deal with a butt-load of unexpected problems, he was my hero. And all the troupe members who uncomplainingly took on extra and kept me sane.

Some things I had that at all of the faires that I am proud of
Excellent Acts, who, to this day still are friends and we had some very fun after hours times as well as fun in daylight with the patrons. Also, some acts that will never be seen again, ever and are diamonds in a chain of many lives.
I treated the vendors very well-many were disappointed I couldn’t do it again.
I got to mix some stuff together which was a tasty fusion delight and patrons will never know how by-the-seat-of-our-pants it was until it came together beautifully.
Larger faires trying to poach my acts-not realizing that many of these people did it as a personal favor.

But I don’t think I can do it again. I’ve done it on a smaller scale as an anniversary party  and my friends and family had a blast. (And in fact, people are on me to get the next one organized) My hat is off to those who organize faires but I much prefer being a performer.

And on that note: you cannot perform AND run a faire effectively. Just. Don’t. You will do both-poorly. It's too much crazy in one bottle.

Putting lipstick on that pig

There are/will be plenty of circumstances in which you just can’t express your true feelings at the faire and you will have to smile, make nice and be grateful that time is a linear river and even if you are currently  at a bad bend, gliding past the brown, finless trout  in the creek, that it will be over soon. Here are some times we’ve had to pucker up and kiss that bovine.

From my partner on being polite:
There are shows, organizers and other acts that I just won’t work with. As far as I know, they won’t work with me either. But, that usually isn’t a problem. However, I do not blame the folks who work for the people with whom I am angry. And, that leads to some interesting conversations.

While we were doing our show Sunday a member of one of those groups  came up to us. He told us that he thought what we were doing was very cool and he thought we should perform at the same faires his group was doing. He mentioned one faire that is on my “hell must freeze over, crumble to dust and blow away first” list.
“Sorry, we’ve got something that conflicts with that,” I told him.
“That’s too bad!” he said. “They’re really short on acts this year and could really use you.”
“That’s too bad. But, I’ll be in Chicago.”
Then, asked about another one that is just on my “if they pay full price, sure” list.
“Doing a show in New Jersey then,” I told him.
Then he asked about the show that refused to pay us two years ago and hired someone else last year.
Told him we were busy then too.
He assured me my group would be missed and then moved along home.
“You were very polite to him,” my wife said.
It’s not his fault. He probably doesn’t even know what they said about us”

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We’ve had people who, despite what we interpreted as a DIRE difference of opinion, call us to work for them again. (which always makes one of my eyebrows shoot into my hairline) but if they want to hire us again, that’s fine. We just lever what we colloquially call “The @$$hole Tax” and although we’ve had people express surprise at this, they will generally accept this. We think this is because we are pretty good-natured and if you manage to annoy us, you’ve probably REALLY annoyed other acts who are not as mercenary as we are. We’ve had paycheck standoffs and with one organizer it seems that was the key to respect. Others wouldn’t work for him but we did because  1) we always had a contract 2) wouldn’t back down 3) he paid us on time, every time.

Someday I’ll talk more in-depth about what I consider the worst performance job ever (and members vary on what that was) But in a short story-the person who hired us, lied to us about show duration and to her boss about how long we’d perform. Another person tried to block our paycheck and actively get us fired on-site. Finally, they left us to perform all day, on a soccer field with no shade and we should have been suspicious that they mentioned they hadn’t been able to hire three more local troupes. There were other factors but that is the only job where we had to actively keep troupe members from committing assault and when my husband and I sat down in the car, closed the doors and simultaneously said “F*ckers”

First, deep breath. Better coming in than going out.
1) is anyone hurt physically? Okay then you won’t have to file charges and deal with that can of worms.
2) Are there apologies to be made? If by  you, make them. If by them, chances are you will never get one. But you are definitely not going to be able to force that. If you can’t choke that down-walk away and do a “tag” with another troupe member.  I am very grateful for the number of times that we have been able to do this for one another. You know it’s past that when we kick a third person up to grab the paycheck and chat. Our excuse is usually “herding cats and packing up.”
3) Is it over and you can go home? Savor this moment. You may have been hostage to someone else’s whims for a time for a check but that time is over.  It’s an important boundary to have. As I’ve said to troupe members after a long-distance trip
“I love you guys, but I don’t want to see you for a week.” And it’s key to disengage and give yourself time to absorb the experience.

Sometimes these bad experiences continue long past where polite society would recommend they be SHUT DOWN.  Although you don’t have control over crazy circumstance you can control how you respond to these things. And I highly recommend that you envision pulling that stick out, twisting to a sharp, red point and applying that to whatever piggy has just dragged you through the mucking and smile. Because it kills them when you smile, and you get to both walk away away, much improved.

Swords and Books:Talk about two recent acquisitions at the Worcester Art Museum

Last night we rushed home, crammed in supper and headed off to the Worcester Art Museum to see talk by Doctor Jeffrey Forgeng.  We hadn’t seen him in some time but it was nice to get a hug. (I’m not name-dropping, I’m just expressing surprise!) In fact, it was a bit like old home week for the (now defunct) Higgins Armory sword/study guild and we tried to catch up a bit with some of the other folks who arrived to hear/see about this beauty and the Meyer Fightbook (The Art of Combat (Die Kunst des Fechtens).

First Jeffrey talked about his own journey from studying medieval practices to swordplay to historical swordplay. He featured some of his works and translations and discussed his sources.

And we only had the opportunity to see the book as a slide (it will be displayed later-http://www.worcesterart.org/exhibitions/jeppson-idealab-art-of-combat/)But Curator Bill McMillan brought around the longsword so we could ooh and ahh over it. It’s in superb shape.

And then Kendra and Mark from CHEMAS (Cambridge Historical European Martial Arts Studies Group) demonstrated some longsword and dussack technique.

Post-talk I toddled over to look at Mark’s new dussacken and hold them.  My partner cornered Jeffrey with questions. And Andy confirmed that the cover of the treatise (it’s been rebound) was from a recycled manuscript of/about Boethius

From there off to a reception where we chatted for a bit (some of us looking up reference material)

And we popped in to enjoy  The Last Judgement Tapestry and confirmed that Justice wasn’t having with all that sin nonsense at the point of a longsword.

But if you get a chance when it opens , be sure to pop in and see both the longsword and the treatise.

Renfaire Hangover

There is, of course the traditional kind that is from Loki and after hours gambols, but this isn’t that sort. The type I’m talking about is this kind; standing in the living room, surrounded by dirty clothing and leather articles, you feel like you were just booted out of Narnia and are still holding a handful of dry leaves as the only proof you were ever there.

I often feel this way after the Gulf Coast Renaissance Faire. It’s sizeable and the purists may poo-poo it but I love it because it’s inclusive and unpretentious. It is “Y’all want to have a good time?!” sort of rolled into a sandwich and swallowed whole. This faire welcomes Zorros, Samurai,Cosplayers, gamers, furries, pet enthusiasts, lost country faire goers, your Uncle Fred and anyone who has put on a coin belt with a pirate hat or velvet tights with a tee shirt. You can buy mead to go with your fried pork rinds and we always see the aluminum siding guy-usually near the girls scout cookies, camel rides, climbing wall and bouncy castle. The owner did it as a gateway faire of sorts, bringing the magic to people had never been to one before.

This faire had a warm welcome for Phoenix Swords even before our full  inception. They were the first large faire to invite us to perform, they have had us as an act since the beginning, and we are the folks that organizer, Steve, says

“Just do what you do and we know you’ll keep them entertained.” So yes, we’ve done hour and a half sets when other acts bailed, we have performed for the last five people at the faire,  and we’ve had folks break that fourth wall and give whip and devilstick lessons to the patrons. We work the gate, we work the lanes, and this last time, my husband was actually escorting people with electronic tickets to the gate!  But we do this for love and because faire does well-we do well.

And coming down year after year means we have relationships –with people who are staff, who volunteer and are regular patrons!  We had one family who told us
“Come stay at our place before the faire!” Which is generous but no one wants a house that smells like over a dozen performers. (As it is, we tip housekeeping staff generously at the hotel, because who wants hay on the carpet?) 

I’m not saying that our faire lives don’t inform our day jobs and cross back again. But they are two different workplaces that are VASTLY different. It’s a tough thing to have people tell you how happy they are to see you, offer you booze, clap for you, sing with you under the stars, offer up their secret dreams and then…go home to shuffling papers, writing email  and generally have to keep how much you use swords or fire under wraps, lest you upset the apple cart.

For me, being free of social media, the phone, housework and all things attention-demanding is a terrific vacation. I might put something on the Phoenix facebook  to pique interest but then, done. And at the faire you are a mythical creature. As my  friend Amy has said, when you put on the uniform, you ARE the job. When I pop on my @$$ kicking boots and kit, I’m out to do THE THING-which is be friendly,  make connections, inform, and before all else, entertain! It requires high energy levels because you have to give out to get back! And it’s fun to be a stealth performer, you know, just  quietly make your way out on stage and then BLAM the volume knob goes up to 11 and you are blasting into the crowd with unseen energy. I’m reasonably good at it and can walk through a crowd with a handful of swords or a pollarm and no one looks up from their corndog.  But I have to be careful stuffing that genie back into the bottle because when I’m tired, my “filters” are thin and frail.
EX: In costume at rest area, woman obstructs bathroom:
ME: Stare if you want but if you don’t move, I’m peeing on your shoes!

And let’s face it, if your title was “Queen of all you survey” or “favorite jester” or Naughtiest bandit” those are some big boots to put away and not take out again for a while. I’m not telling people to live in a small way out of costume or character. It’s not bad it’s just different. If you didn’t have a little royalty, bandit or clown in you, there would be no wellspring for that performance. But it’s definitely a superlative that we set out on stage, freak flag unfurled for the masses and waving free-very empowering. Sort of our terrifying, naked, vulnerable selves.

So when I am feeling sad while I shake out some underthings and red clay comes filtering out, or shake a boot and a stone that traveled 1300 miles with me rolls onto the carpet. Sure I’m a little sad and it will be a while before I’ve wrestled  a bit back into my “faire mouth.” But it’s a hangover I wouldn’t give up and although it’s a bit painful, it’s an addiction I can live with and enriches.

Bonus: While looking for suitable images, I came upon this term Faire l’andouille and now you’ve learned something new.